And Milo, full of thoughts and questions, curled up on the pages of tomorrow's music and eagerly awaited the dawn.

.::.The Phantom Tollbooth.::.



As I write, remembering what I saw this morning, it transiently seems to me that my writing about photosynthesis, pencil scratching across the pages of my notebook in the fading evening light, is photosynthesis writing about itself.

.::.Nicholas Harberd.::.



These bitches spend the night eating ass and sucking dick and then call themselves vegan.

.::. Shortbus .::.

favorite words

My favorite words are: Communicative, Coquettish, Algebraic, Amicable, Photosynthetic, Noodle, Entropic, Whore, Neutrality, Particulate, Defenestration, Vapid, Autumnal, Festering, Swagger, Stimuli, Nautical, Environs, Tertiary, Aliphatic, Aquaculture, Processes, Lest, Electrophillic, Pedagogy, Pedagogic, Magnificat, Fiasco, Vile, Soporific, Hart, Primality, Sesquipedalianism, Entomophily, Operatically, and Fungivory.

something just broke

all this will pass.
I will not be able to reclaim my dignity though.
and it is very cold outside.
I'm losing energy to do this.
I am only 2 days away from everything.

I kept thinking
something just woke
something just spoke
something I wish I hadn’t heard
something bewildering occurred
fix it up fast, please
till its just smoke
till its only something just passed
nothing that will last
where I was what I was doing
nothing but the moment
just an awful moment
but something just (broke)

something just broke

when will things work out?

we keep falling in love. do the strifes outweigh the fantasy.
I don't want to be the one who acts in desperation
I just want to have touch
tactile. malleable. significant. dig my face into your stomach. contact.

I don't know
physics 115: electromagnetism & heat
spanish 302: grammer & lexicon
biology 425: adv plant phys
environmental science 4??: plant ecophys
microm 435: microbial ecology

we'll see

I'll die day after day

I am making this
very hard on myself

I want this week(s) to end.

quick rant with 8 bullets

This 10 page paper will not actually write itself. I will continue to listen to folk music on pandora.com until it is finished. though.

not to look forward. but. winter break I need to accomplish a many of things.
1. public library: make amends
2. goodwill: donate
3. french: conjugate verbs!
4. pancakes: every day.
5. sleep: in.
6. arabic: learn the alphabet.
7. jersey boys: go see it.
8. taxonomy: clear up any confusions.

all this is very selfish. I will write my paper. not because I'm being told to. but because. I want to. I just don't think I know that yet.

I can't help but think about cyanobacteria. I want to know more about its photosynthetic processes. the minority in the ill-existent lichen society. they are, no, not as advanced as us. or over-analytical. emotional.

I don't want the heat on in the apartment. but my roomate is cold, I'm sure. just suck it up. I will.

I only have 4 days left of classes for this quarter. I can't help to get sucked into it all. animal physiology, español, linguistics, lichenology.

I need to sleep. today was my last day of work. for a while. I'm not sure my finances can support being unemployed. but right now. I'd rather be hungry and poor than work a minimum wage food service job. I can't feel good about myself. I do though. I promise.

I can't wait to talk to you (who?) about bacteria and archaea. because I feel like there's alot to know. that I don't

An Alternation of Generation

I can see myself in the mirror. 15, 16 years ago. completely unaware. 12 years of school. life. relationships. consequences. middle school. high school. university.
I can still see the same person in the reflection of the window. in seattle, and himself. The next 2 weeks will be a test.
Think.


you need to OWN what's coming
because you do


When everything is not working. when everything is ACHING to be fixed. boring. sad. motionless.
I can't help but to stop. and think. of the. back and forth. the to and fro. the up and down. the alternation. of generations. diploid. haploid. sporophyte. gametophyte.


even when it is not thought of. it still goes. the primary producers will remain so, until their matter and energy seizes to exist, by whatever means.

I do not pretend to know much
I do not pretend to be much
But this I acknowledge: our life. your life. everything. is a chemical reaction. one can't deny that it has achieved a perpetuating property. we call this whatever. reproduction. reactions. mitosis. my oh sis.

I will sit down tomorrow. And go to the library. and START what must be finished.
I don't think the snow can stop me.

We don't owe anything anything. We can't, however, stop thinking about it. And to acknowledge the existence of these reactions. Is to be alive. We are all alive. Life is repeat. Reproducts. Reproductive molecules. Synthesis. Division. Diversity.

LIFE is shaped by a selection. Because of these properties.

This is what I study. This is why. I study life because I am life. And because there is nothing more real.

ain't that the truth. The TRUTH is that WE don't know anything. We can only process stimuli. Which we do. And this gives us an advantage. Biologically. We process. So much. So fast. We've constructed emotions to explain our reactions. But that's all they are. Reactions. Everything we feel. Everything we think. Can be stopped. In time. And zoom in. Break down everything. And you will always find. Protons. Neutrons. And Electrons. Charges. Billions. Owning you. Creating you.

Our burdens are only a product of our analysis.

Our analyzes are only a product of stimuli.

Our stimulus is the world. Is you. Is me. Is everything.

Tomorrow is the present. I am ready to generate an alternation.