wrapping my face around infinity

It strikes me as odd - that a species so highly evolved as humans, so well adapted, are so controlled by what we call emotions. Just the fact that the word suicide exists in our lexicon tells me that we are too emotional. Our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are many times irrational, and without simple logic. I don't believe it to be advantageous. I don't believe it to be necessary for survival. And on a personal note, I become frustrated, more often than not, at the very existence of the concept of emotion. It is one of many words in human language that implies something far beyond our ability to understand. Why name what we cannot grasp? Love, God, Infinity, Purpose, ... , Time. These are all words that mean so much to any person, child or adult, male or female, intelligent or not, and yet we don't understand the concepts. At all.

With that being said, I have fallen into somewhat of a financial state of fuck. I admit, I can always do more to improve cash flow, save, dine in, etc., but I never expected to reach this embarrassing state. I am dealing with it. I am dealing with classes. I am dealing with a new roommate. I am dealing with Elle gone. Lauren gone. Insecurities of all kinds. I may look for a job tomorrow. I may run out of money completely.

I may get up and move to Dili.